Second Sunday in Lent, 2001
1 Thessalonians 4:3

Sex and the Christian

Alfred Kinsey was one of the more influential figures in shaping modern sexual thinking. Kinsey's impact was due in part to his ability to convince others that he was a scientist with a clipboard who carefully studied other people having sex, tabulating what Americans did in their bedrooms. The results of his sex surveys appeared in books and medical journals, complete with charts and statistics. The research appeared sober and clinically unbiased. The public was startled to discover such a high percentage of homosexuals and deviants and such a low ratio of virgins and celibates. Nevertheless, the findings of the white-frocked Kinsey were rarely questioned. And so was born the myth that 13 percent of men and seven percent of women were more or less homosexual, which evened out to a neat 10 percent of the population.

It was not until decades afterwards that his conclusions were proven to be fraudulent. He had relied on unrepresentative samples that included a disproportionate percentage of sex offenders and other psychopaths. Instead of surveying a normal cross-section of Americans he narrowed his samples to homosexuals, sadomasochists, pedophiles, transsexuals, and so on. Clearly Kinsey was driven by an ideological agenda. And what was the gospel according to Kinsey? He was committed to an ideology that defined morality as a harmful force to be opposed. He longed to elevate sexuality into a means of salvation. He claimed that all orgasms are morally equivalent -- whether between married or unmarried persons, between people of the same or the opposite sex, between adults or children, even between humans and animals.

Of course this is diametrically opposed to the teaching of Scripture. The Apostle Paul tells us in our epistle lesson, "For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God." Abstention from sexual immorality is a commandment of God. This is the topic we want to examine today. How do we please the Lord in the realm of sex? What are the biblical boundaries of God's gift of sexuality?

We begin with the word "vessel." St. Paul exhorts us: "that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor," How should we interpret that word? The historic church has been divided. Some have held that vessel should be translated, "wife"; others prefer "body," and others think it refers to "genitalia." It is hard to say. If "wife" is correct, the apostle is urging each believing man to take a wife for himself. If "body" is right, Paul is advising each Christian to "control his own body." Similarly, if genitalia is in view then abstention is urged over against sexual self-gratification. Each position has its strengths and weaknesses. Perhaps they are all correct. Let us probe the different meanings.

I. "For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor." When we accept the interpretation that vessel means "wife" we can conclude that Paul is affirming heterosexual marriage as the only God-given context for sexual intercourse. He is saying, "each of you should know how to possess his own wife in sanctification and honor."

The parallel statement is found in I Corinthians 7:2-9 where St. Paul writes: "because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Do not deprive one another [sexually] For it is better to marry than to burn with passion." Marriage was instituted at creation when Adam was given Eve. They were to be one flesh for the purpose of companionship and procreation. Moreover, since the fall marriage has served as a remedy against sin.

Paul's first principle, then, is that heterosexual and monogamous marriage is the only context in which God intends sexual intercourse to be experienced, and indeed enjoyed. Married couples should not expect a perfect orgasm every time. Sometimes sex will be extraordinarily good, other times it will be pretty mediocre, and usually the experiences will fall into the normal range of physical pleasure. An ongoing one-flesh sexual union between husband and wife is the God-ordained model. The corollary is that sex is forbidden in every other context, whether with a heterosexual partner before marriage or outside of marriage, or in a homosexual relationship, or in a sexual act with an animal. It is distressing that we have to speak of bestiality but in our day there is a growing number of people who promote such perversion.

A word needs to be said about homosexuality. Since the Bible regards same-sex relations as an abomination, the Church has always condemned it. In societies influenced by Christianity, a stigma is attached to homosexual conduct, and such activity recedes to the closet where it belongs. Nonetheless, as we well know, such a view is criticized in our day as "homophobic" or "gay-bashing." The gay rights movement is a militant force. Many in the modern church have been intimidated by their agenda or even won over to their position. Therefore the unthinkable has entered some churches: the blessing of same-sex unions, the promotion of gay adoptions, and the ordination of homosexuals to the ministry.

It is our privilege to prove our faithfulness to the Lord during these dark times. This is our chance to shine the light of God's Word. We do that when we stand for the truth that homosexual acts are heinous sins. If we truly want to be compassionate to homosexuals we will speak God's unchanging standards to them. We will tell them that the gay lifestyle is miserable; it is a death-style. We will tell them that there is hope in Christ. Homosexual habits and urges can be successfully changed. We see this in First Corinthians chapter six.

First Corinthians 6:9-11 sets the standard for the Church's response to the homosexual. The Apostle Paul writes, "Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God."

Some of the Corinthian believers were involved in the gay lifestyle before they were saved. St. Paul says, "And such were some of you." But now they had been washed clean of it by the grace of God. They had been sanctified from it. They had been pardoned by God's mercy in Christ and declared righteous in spite of their past involvement in it. In other words, St. Paul knew specific individuals in the parish at Corinth whom God had saved from this abomination; their homosexuality was now in the past tense, a matter of their pre conversion lifestyle. They had repented of their homosexual deeds and desires, and renounced them.

Possibly one of the best kept secrets in the dominant media is the fact that homosexual and lesbian people, even the most compulsive gays, can be successfully reoriented. It may take a few years, and may be very difficult, but it can be accomplished through the power of the Holy Spirit, in the life of the Church. This is fantastic news for all lesbians and gays. The Gospel gives hope to the repentant homosexual. As the body of Christ, we must be willing to offer loving help to those attempting to escape from homosexual and lesbian obsession. [For more on this subject, see my article " Homosexuality and the Church ".]

II. Again, our epistle passage from I Thessalonians 4:3: "For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God." The other translation of vessel can refer to one's own "body." In this case, Paul is urging us to gain mastery over our bodies.

I hesitate to bring up the problem of masturbation, but it would probably be irresponsible not to. It is such a common and confusing matter. When I was a teenager, I wish somebody in the Church had addressed the issue. They rarely did. Men and women, young and old, married and singles are tempted to masturbate. As a general rule, men get carried away more than women, the young more than the old, and singles more than married people. For many it is a daily addiction and ruling passion. What does Scripture say about it? Unfortunately the Bible has no clear word. Some would say that Paul's command, "possess your body in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust" refers to masturbation, and therefore we should abstain from it. That may be true.

Then there is the biblical principle that self-gratification and self-centeredness withdraw us from God who is the Source of our joy. The more we become absorbed in ourselves, the more we alienate ourselves from the Lord. Such self-absorption produces depression and misery. So the person who daily immerses himself in narcissistic activities is going to end up depressed and unhappy. That is what self-centeredness does. It cannot be avoided. In contrast, to be Christ-centered is true joy.

Total abstention from masturbation is most likely the ideal. However, let us qualify this. Complete self-restraint is rarely achieved among Christians. This is simply the reality of a powerful bodily drive. Many fine Christians down through the ages have been consumed with guilt due to their shortcomings on this matter, perhaps overly consumed with guilt. Consequently, my advise to those who ask is this: Married people should avoid masturbation entirely. Your spouse should be able to fulfill your needs.

For unmarried people I recommend you avoid frequent masturbation, it will distance you from the Lord and make you miserable. Try refraining, but if you cannot meet the goal of total abstinence, try to limit your masturbation to once a week or so. As much as possible, let us strive to "possess our vessels in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God."

Let us turn our attention now to a related area: singleness. According to God's Word singles lack the God-given context for sexual love. What about them? Does God leave them in a cruel situation?

Anglican author and lecturer Elizabeth Elliot tells about the loneliness she felt after her first husband died. That loneliness hit home at an unexpected moment. She was flying cross-country on a late-night flight. The stewardess had turned off the lights. In order to get some rest she reclined her seat, put her head in a pillow and leaned against the window. Across the isle she could see in the dim light a man and woman sitting next to each other. The lady had taken out a cigarette and was looking for a match to light it, but could not find one. (This was back in the days when you could still smoke on airlines.) Her male companion took a lighter out of his coat pocket and lit the cigarette for her. The glow from the match momentarily illumined their faces. The woman smiled, leaned her head on his shoulder and inhaled her smoke. That was it. That small gesture of kindness reminded Elizabeth Elliot of her deceased husband and the warm intimacy they had enjoyed together. Now he was gone. The tears welled up in her eyes. She realized how much she missed a shared life with a husband.

If loneliness is such a harsh reality for some singles, and if sexual purity is such a frustrating standard to maintain, is it not reasonable to permit unmarried people some sexual outlet? That would not be so bad, would it? Yes, it would! That would be a terrible mistake. You must accept St. Paul's teaching, however hard it may seem, that sex is only proper within the frontiers of marriage. You must see a celibate lifestyle as God's good purpose both for them and for society. But you will not become a bundle of frustrations and inhibitions if they embrace God's standard; only if you rebel against it. Christ's yoke is easy, provided you submit to it. Furthermore, it is possible for human sexual energy to be redirected both into affectionate relationships with friends of both sexes, and into the loving service of others. Multitudes of Christian singles, both men and women, can testify to this. Alongside a natural loneliness, accompanied sometimes by acute pain, you can find joyful self-fulfillment in the self-giving service of God and others.

Reformed Anglican theology holds to a hierarchy of sin. There are gradations of immorality. Some sins are more grievous than others. According to God's law, which reflects His holy character, sexual sins are categorized as the most dangerous and destructive. Fornication, adultery, sodomy, incest, bestiality, and homosexuality are, under normal circumstances, capital offences. The Apostle Paul reinforces the heinous nature of sexual sin in 1 Cor. 6:15-20. We can read that passage to conclude today's homily. (Reads it.)

Sexual sin is a powerful temptation. Take it seriously. Run away from situations in which you are tempted. Avoid pornography and filthy jokes. Not one of us here is exempt from falling into sexual sin. Never forget that succumbing to erotic involvement outside of marriage is always an unmitigated disaster. The world encourages sexual freedom outside of heterosexual marriage, the flesh desires it, the devil uses it to destroy us. For many modern thinkers, sexuality has become the basis for an entire worldview, the source of ultimate meaning and healing, a means of redemption. We must resist this trend to deify sex.

During the season of Lent, let us take to heart the Church's call to do battle against the world, the flesh, and the devil. Sexual temptation is a grueling war, but a good war. Be faithful to God. Seek His grace. Strive to please Him. Christ knows your temptations. In the midst of them, He promises you a way of escape, and He will richly bless your self-restraint in this area.

Return to Sermons